Don't get Chinese food when you're in Montana. You'd think I'd be able to know this without having to go to Montana and get Chinese food but apparently I'm not that bright. My band was on tour in Montana in 2002 and for some reason, we, three native New Yorkers who all know better decided to go to the one Chinese restaurant in Missoula, MT. I've had some bad Chinese food in my life, but this one really took the cake.

I feel very bad for all those people in Missoula who don't have a choice between Chinese restaurants. (Did you know David Lynch used to live there? That's why on Twin Peaks, before Leland Palmer smashes his neice's head into a wall, preferring to see her dead than returning to school at the University of Montana, exclaiming, "my princess... is going back... to Missoula... Montana!!!" but I digress...) 

On Tuesday however, they do have a choice between candidates, though apparently through its own weird archaic caucus system that, according to some guy who writes blogs in Montana, could mean a victory for Ron Paul.

May the speed-limitless citizens of the Big Sky State revel in the few choices they have, such as whom to elect to represent their party, before they return to their choiceless dictatorship represented by lack of Chinese options and the fact that no matter who they nominate, there's not a snowball's chance in hell that a Democrat will carry Montana in November.

Max Bernstein is making a name for himself as a musician in Los Angeles. Under the name Max and The Marginalized, he writes and records a song a week concerning current issues. They can be heard on MySpace or The Huffington Post.

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