Stories

Every time I see a naked mannequin, I just want to stick one finger out, point, and yell “NAKED MANNEQUIN!”

I can’t be the only one, and I certainly can’t be the only one who has wanted to dress that naked mannequin up in a summer outfit just so I could invite him or her—or it—out for tea time in Central Park.

Yes, certainly, we’d have a tea party as lovely as the Mad Hatter’s on a blanket spread out on the Great Lawn. Although, I’d leave the invite for the Red Queen behind, because she’d surely be too delighted with how easy it would be to “be off with it’s head—that is, if the mannequin I window shopped for on 5th Avenue had a head at all!

But we’d sit for hours in the sun…me the Mad Hatter, and the mannequin, the Alice to my imaginary Wonderland-ah yes, it’d be the perfect tea party for two. Both of us, pale, and in serious need of SPF 50, we’d sprawl out across my blanket, and we’d laugh about the kids swinging and missing in their game of wiffle ball, and we’d compliment the jazz performers we could hear off in the distance, and above all, we’d share stories.

Shopping eco friendly is easier than you might think, even at a bargain focused store like Grocery Outlet. Recently Grocery Outlet gave me a $30 gift card to see what great eco friendly bargains I could find for Earth Day. Here are my top picks:

Eco Friendly Shopping Tips

1. Buy fresh produce

The less processed and less packaged, the better. Grocery Outlet sells some beautiful greens, I found these greens for just 99 cents a bunch. 

2. Choose recycled chlorine free paper products

Recycled paper products are better quality than you might think these days and using them is an easy way to go green.

I spend a great deal of my life working functions that exceptionally wealthy people go to. My official jobs have ranged from handing out escort cards to rangling opera singers, to making emergency Staples runs, to standing and looking pretty. I’m especially good at that last one.

But my unofficial job is where I really excel: soothing the savage rich lady.

Actually, I’m pretty great with rich old men as well, but soothing the savage rich man sounds like the subject for a whole other blog, by a writer who isn’t me, and you need to buy a subscription to read it.

If any of you are considering entering into the exciting field of nonprofit fundraising, you need to learn one thing: rich ladies like it when you like their blouse. Ok, or their jewelry or their hair or their bag, but blouse is a funnier word, and relates specifically to one unfortunate such occurrence I experienced recently.

If you want to entertain high on the hog and go hog wild then – in fact – why not go hog wild and pig out high on the hog!

Seems elementary!

The only other declaration that generates as much gleeful excitement as “T*O*G*A!“ is “B*B*Q!” – especially if you bring in the best meats from the great BBQ states of Texas, Tennessee and the Carolinas! And, that is exactly what we did for a season farewell dinner last week in Palm Beach.

Our Menu:

For appetizers we had pulled pork sliders, brie and mango quesadillas, and Virginia stone milled grits “martinis” with Charleston style shrimp and Andouille Sausage.

Our buffet consisted of Blackened Catfish; Florida style BBQ chicken; BBQ Brisket of Beef flown in from Railhead BBQ located in Fort Worth, Texas; BBQ Tennessee pulled pork and ribs, flown in from Corky’s in Memphis, Tennessee; sweet potato fries, home made black eyed peas, grapefruit and avocado salad with poppy seed dressing, Jalapeno cornbread and biscuits. Whew!