They say that being a mom is the hardest job in the world.
I don't doubt it.
My dad always said that children were like small drunk adults. They walk around with little regard for their safety, they say stupid things, and they vomit. I am probably not going to have them. And I'm going to be real: I don't want to get fat. I don't want my body to change into something I don't recognize. But most importantly, I don't have the patience to be a mom. I have no idea how my mom put up with me. I would sabotage grade school Christmas shows by dressing as Michael Jackson. I would argue about everything, especially regarding bike safety (I didn't care that my helmet was a Barbie licensed helmet damnit.) I wouldn't eat anything she cooked.
In short, I was an asshole.
Stories
Stories
They Call It Puppy Love
My name is Farleys D Destino Del Lago, but friends call me Charlie.
Being a puppy of a certain age has been challenging. There is this “potty outside” thing that is constantly being hammered into my being - not to mention sit, stay, off, no bark, and hearing my name, “Charlie” said as though I was in really deep trouble…(something about humping… ?) I guess you all know the drill.
But, tonight the education came to fruition; I went to my first restaurant where I finally got it. And, I had a date with a little cutie named Lucy, not to mention Comely Sonja - the hostess that greeted us. Wow. She made me feel most welcome among all the ‘beautiful’ people. Did I say we dined en plein air (Hey I am a poodle puppy… French Poodle puppy)
Apparently, this was no everyday kinda place - this was Daniel Boulud’s famous Café Boulud at the Brazilian Court in Palm Beach and they love, LOVE dogs! Chef Jim Leiken (who came down from New York’s Daniel) has created a dog friendly cuisine with such items as, for example, an 8oz prime beef patty (they hold the bun and onion) and little lemon Madeleine Cookies with just a hint of yummy powdered sugar).
Busted in the Wasteland
Shortly after noon on Saturday, I was walking down to the car rental place on 77th Street. We were off to the country to visit some friends. I was feeling a little peckish, as the British say, so I decided to grab something quick to eat on my way. On a whim – I swear I don’t do this more than once or twice a year — I popped into McDonald’s and ordered a Quarter Pounder with Cheese to go. I unwrapped it and was happily munching away as I walked down Broadway, when I ran into a friend who also happens to be a regular follower of my blog.
“What’s for lunch?” she asked with a smile, but when I got closer and she saw what I was eating, the smile turned into a look of disbelief and disillusionment.
“McDonald’s? You?”
“Well, you know …” I blushed and tried to hide the sandwich with my other hand. Maybe, I thought, I could convince her it was a buttered baguette stuffed with imported prosciutto.
“What is that, a Quarter Pounder?” This was from another acquaintance who happened to be strolling by with his wife. The two of them are well-known Upper West Side foodies.
Friend in Hot Places
Did you ever think, when you were younger and the creaks of closing
doors hadn’t yet become thunderous, that you and all of your friends
were going to do great things? Because now it seems like circumstance
has threatened, in the friendships it didn’t destroy altogether, that
idea of mutually assured success. Three years removed from the rapidly
fading end of college, the majority of my peers sport psychic bruises
gotten at the hands of a world we’ve learned isn’t vested in our
personal triumph. The few people who know what they want to do have
discovered their chosen professions aren’t guided by the principles of
meritocracy. It’s ostensible chaos, and, after fifteen years of
structured, teleological environments, it breeds doubt—doubt that like
a giant black maw eats away at the confidence of those glowing
assessments you made back in the ninth grade. When the maw isn’t
satisfied—its appetite is only whetted by the feast on your friends—the
jaws of uncertainty turn inward and you begin questioning whether that
secret self-conviction you’ve always harbored, the belief you would add
to the world in a distinct and remarkable way, was ever really
justified.
But there are methods for sating such an ugly beast. I’ve discovered one is you feed it at the restaurant where my friend pulls from the oven pizzas that, prior to glorious consumable conception, spent thousands of hours parbaking in his head.
A Splash of Seasoning Can Be Better Than a Shake
From the L.A. Times
When most cooks read "season to taste," they automatically reach for the salt shaker. That's not a bad start: A judicious sprinkling with salt will awaken many a dull dish. But if you stop there, many times you'll be missing a key ingredient. Because just as a little salt unlocks flavor, so can a few drops of acidity.
Add a shot of vinegar to a simple stew of white beans and shrimp and notice how the seemingly simple, earthy flavor of the beans suddenly gains definition and complexity. Do the same thing with a soup of puréed winter squash and see how a dish that once was dominated by rich and sweet now has a round, full fruit character.
Though the results may be similar, salt and acidity work slightly differently. Salt is a flavor potentiator -- in other words, it works chemically to make other flavors taste more of themselves. Acidity works as seasoning by giving a dish backbone or structure, which allows other flavors to stand out and shine.
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