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by Anna Harari
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 Christopher Low When I was younger my brother and I were constantly fighting. One
day, my mother decided to ban swearing. We were at a loss. We stared
at each other across the dining room table with enough venom to take
out a tiger, but we had no words. I have no idea how it started, but
we began to call each other the names of the foods around the kitchen.
"You're such a Quaker, Oatmeal." "You're a can of tuna fish that
isn't even dolphin safe." "You're a carton of milk." "You're a half
empty bottle of soy sauce. We threw these terms at each other every
morning over breakfast and every night over dinner, somehow making the
terms more and more apropos to our specific fight.
"You're Tropicana
orange juice, some pulp." "You're sour cream." "You're such an
apple." "You're a nectarine." "Yea, well, you're a banana." It went
on for days.
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by Bruce Cormicle
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Double-dipped Justice at Philippe's
If you are a criminal defense attorney as I am defending cases in
downtown Los Angeles, you will eventually find your way to the tangled
skein of ceiling fans, neon soft drink signs, and sawdust floors of a
restaurant called “Philippe - The Original The Home of the French dip
sandwich Since 1918" in nearby Chinatown. This restaurant and the
sandwiches contained within played a central role in defending my first
felony trial which took place in 1987.
In that case, my client was twenty years old and stood no more than 5'
4" weighing 110 lbs. It wouldn’t have hurt him to eat a sandwich
himself. He had just been released from prison after serving time for
burglary. He was told by his parole officer to obey all laws, don’t
possess a gun, and stay away from gang members. He did very well in
following those directions for the next 24 hours.
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by Katherine Reback
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This recipe, which originally appeared in the NY Times in 1973 in an article by Jean Hewitt, was featured by Amanda Hessler in her ‘Recipe Redux’ piece in the November 4, 2007 Times Magazine. It looked scrumptious and easy so I tore it out, as I do with many NY Times recipes, and put it aside. “Aside” is also where I put the card the secretary in my Dentist’s office handed me to remind me of my next appointment.
It’s where the little yellow rectangular stub the shoemaker gave me without which I can’t get my shoes back went. And it is also where the Gelson’s receipt, on the back of which I had illegibly scrawled the title of a song I heard on the car radio that would be perfection playing over a scene in the screenplay I was working on before we went on strike, was moved. You can pretty much take it to the bank that whatever is put there will never see the light of day again. Aside, as it turns out, is my own personal Bermuda Triangle.
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by Laraine Newman
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I have a 1932 copy of The Joy of Cooking that’s being held together at the spine with duct tape. The book, like so many things my mother gave me or tried to impart to me, has become a cherished item only years after her death.
I wasn’t that close to my mother. I know she loved me very much, but she was a talented woman who was bored to death with mothering (I have two older siblings) by the time my twin brother and I came along. I can dig it. I would have had more kids myself, but if I had to sing “Wheels on The Bus” one more time, someone was gonna get hurt.
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by Holly Goldberg Sloan
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The TEN THINGS (even if you don’t cook) to keep in your KITCHEN at all
times (so you can make yourself something decent to eat for breakfast,
lunch or dinner) even if you only shop for real food once a month:
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